It is when we listen that we hear....

Revelation....

What has God called you to do with your life?  That question can be as intimidating and daunting as the decision we face our senior year of high school.... "what am I going to do for the rest of my life?"

Just like when we were seniors, many of us "flop" around for years not knowing what we want to do, should do, or need to do.  We wander aimlessly floating from job to job, relationship to relationship.

Are we truly seeking God's direction for our life or are we content to wander like the Israelites of old?

At 48 years of age, I have discovered my "God purpose".  It is not grand and glorious.  It will not bring fame nor fortune.  It does not even remotely resemble anything that I would have thought a calling from God should look like.

Take my hand a moment and walk a bit of my history with me as I share my heart with you.  This history that I share with you is being told from a position free from hurts and pains, with no malice and no judgement, but most importantly it is being shared from a position of complete and utter healing flowing with peace and joy.

My earliest memories of my mom were those of her laughter.  Mom had a great laugh, she was pretty, and mom could do whatever she set her mind to. My dad had a great sense of humor, was a tremendous mechanic who could fix anything, and served his country well.  But - my dad wasn't the greatest dad nor husband.  I was like most young girls in that I sought to be the delight of my father.  My father's focus was on his son, my brother.  Now my brother was a cherub of a child.  Quick to laugh, amiable, easy going, and a joy to be around.  Quite the opposite of me.  I was not an easy child ( now I know this shocks you but trust me, this was indeed true ) in that I was strong willed, precocious, and at the same time I needed to be loved like some need air.  A marriage that began at too young of an age (17), based on self will, by two people who did not put God in their marriage well, it was easy to see what lay ahead.  It wasn't long until my parent's marriage ended and through the workings of a nasty/bitter divorce, they went their separate ways.  And with that divorce, my father walked out of my life.

After a bit of time passed, another man was brought into our lives through a relationship.  This man ended up marrying our mother.  Again, God was not consulted nor invited to be part of the marriage.  With the entrance of this man, evil came into our lives.  After the "honeymoon" period that all relationships go through, the truth of this man's character made itself known.  Through a governmental position of power, abuses went unchecked and unreported.  My mom was subject to emotional abuse but rarely anything physical.  My brother was subject to verbal and some physical abuse, mostly after I had left the home.  You see, for years, my brother was afforded the lofty position of "only son" and was granted the rights of such according to Louisiana heritage in which males are very much the ones allotted a position of preference in the culture as well as the right to do many things that as a female you should not do.  As such, it was not until I left our home that my brother began to reap some of what had been laid upon me.  Now my experience in our home was vastly different from my mom's and my brother's.

I am indeed a country girl born and raised.  I am not a dainty, genteel southern girl content to sit on a porch and fan myself while proclaiming "fiddle de dee but it is hot today."  No siree, that is a far cry from who I am.  From birth I was much as you see today....into everything especially anything to do with animals and the out doors.  Well, to help you understand a little of what my good friend Wendy likes to call "being from the black water", it was very much a dual set of standards for raising children.  One for boys and one for girls.  I remember one of the first beatings I got...it was after a family reunion in which I made the mistake of going to the living room to watch football and I was commanded in quite colorful language to carry myself back to the kitchen.  Yes, he literally meant the kitchen where the rest of the wives/daughters had gathered.

After the passage of a few years, I was allotted the "privilege" of some of the male dominated activities.  Well privilege would be a subjective word here.  You see, I am four years older than my brother so I was the one old enough to move the cows, help with planting/harvesting, cutting wood etc until my brother was old enough to pick up and join in.  But.....I did get to sneak in the joy of hunting and could out shoot any one until well after I was married.

Hunting was a joy.  Until hunting became the cover story for abuse.  Then the abuse became bold and occurred in the home.

I lost count over the years of how many times my braces were knocked off my teeth, of how many ways there are to dodge someone, and of how many times gym teachers turned a blind eye to all that went on.  I lost count of the times I cried myself to sleep, calling out to God, "I only wanted a father, why can't I have a father?"

I wasted a ridiculous amount of years asking God why?  What was the point?  Even when through the Godly wisdom of a pastor, I allowed complete healing and peace to enter my life, the question would still come up.  Why?

As I woke this morning, the answer to that question was burning in the depths of my soul.  So I would accept the love that had always been there for me.  So I would know love.  So I would take that same love and share it unashamedly and unreservedly with every single person around me.  To include the evil that began in my life all those years ago.

You see, I got a phone call yesterday informing me that the man who had brought such pain into my life was diagnosed with kidney cancer.  Kidney cancer!  Just how often do you hear of someone being diagnosed with kidney cancer?  I can tell you it isn't all that often.

As I hung up that phone my mind was swirling.  As one who was diagnosed with a kidney disorder at 21 and who battles renal failure now, I can promise you that what this man faces is more unpleasant than what most will go through in their life time.

I began to pray for this man even more than I had over the years and my heart began to break.  You see, this man does not know God.  He lived his life according to his desires.  As a result, his life has been fraught with heartache, hard times, very few friends, and much loneliness.

I began to pray.  The direction that has come from those prayers has brought me to the position of revelation this morning.  I am to do what God has called my life to be about.  I am to love.  Love completely without reservation with the same love that God has given me.  For you see, as much as I would like to think I am so much better than this man, the facts are that I am not.  I am a sinner the same as he.  The difference is that I am redeemed by grace, washed in the blood, and I now live for the One who is love.

So the answer to all those questions all those years was one that is oh so simple.  Love.  I am to love.  Love beyond reason.  Love without exception.

As I have prayed, I feel myself being led to minister to this man.  I am going to contact him personally and do what God directs me to and what the man will allow.

I also feel led to ask that my fellow believers join me in sending cards of prayers and love to this man.  I will not shame him nor harm him, so any one who wishes to write a note of Godly love and encouragement, can send them to me and I will forward them to him.  Feel free to include your name and address as I will make sure that he knows these are not from me but from fellow believers who are walking in God's love.

I was so silly to always be looking for the grand, bigger than life calling God had placed on me.  Well, the calling IS grand and it IS bigger than life!  Just not in the way my human mind would have comprehended.  To love as He loves will take me a lifetime and will be perfected and culminated in heaven.

To that end I ask you to pray and see if God leads you in reaching out to this man who is facing such a terrible road and is truly alone as only one who is without God can be.

Many blessings to you my friends....

God spoke, I listened

God spoke, I listened….

During the late 90’s we lived in a small town called Mena, Arkansas.  During those years, God worked some amazing things in my life and in my spirit.  He led me to such a depth of relationship with Him that I would never, could never, be the same again.  I was witness to miracles, revelations, healings, and most of all; I was witness to the gifts that He birthed in me.  Most gifts I welcomed with open arms but one, one caused me to fear and to look at my humanness rather than the power of the Mighty God who blessed me with such a gift.  So often as a young Christian traveling the road to maturity and depth of relationship, I would look at other Christians and envy the spiritual gift with which they had been blessed.  Thinking, “oh if only I had such a wonderful gift.”  What a young foolish girl I was.  Never did I consider the complete sacrifice of self, required to walk in such spiritual giftings.  Not for a moment did I comprehend the utter dependence on God to manifest said gift when called upon to minister to another.  And I certainly could not begin to understand the battle that the enemy would bring to the flesh in order to incapacitate my obedience to the Spirit’s moving. 

…..Until that day.  It began oh so simply.  Bible in my lap, reading the words on the page, when certain words in Isaiah 21:11 began to leap off the page; “Watchman, what of the night?  Watchman, what of the night?”  I could not read any further for the statement that had leapt of the page began to echo louder and louder within my spirit.   Watchman, what of the night?  It was similar to watching dawn as it breaks over the horizon and with each passing moment light illuminates more and more until you are flooded with it.  The light permeates to the very core of your being, chasing away all doubt, and allowing knowledge to come in.  And so it was that the Holy Spirit breathed into my spirit that the gift of prophecy was being made manifest within me.  There would be messages to be shared, a word spoken, a revelation to be given all in God’s timing and His manifestation.  As I shared, this was not one that caused me to shout hallelujah.  Something closer to “why me” and “oh me” would be way more accurate.  Through the years there has been occasion when God has urged me to speak.  And there has been the inevitable wrestling with doubt and fear.  Can I do this?  What will the person think?  Will I be ridiculed?  What if it doesn’t happen?  What if it isn’t received?  The bottom line is, yes, I can do this.  Only God knows the recipients heart.  That is not for me to know.  Yes, I have been ridiculed.  Yes, I have been chastised.  All those things that the mind can create as a plausible reason not to be obedient; and yet, He calls me to go, and go I do. 

I have learned a great lesson – mine is only to do as He calls.  It is for God to work what He will.  It is for the recipient to do with His message what they will.   Mine is only to be obedient to Him. 

For the first time, I am being called to speak a message that was given for me personally and for another whose heart God will give acknowledgement that this is for their blessing and healing as well.  And for the first time, I have been asked to share this publicly. 

Father, as I step forward in faith, I thank you that your will shall come to pass and that only your words will be spoken.  In all things, this is through the shed blood of your son, Jesus Christ.

**************************************************************************************

Jagged rocks on a stormy path call forth a praying heart and listening ears.  So the storms of the past weeks have brought forth a spirit willing to hear a message breathed by God and sealed by the Holy Spirit.

It’s about the message…. “Hand it over”.   Nothing more.

Sometimes God asks us to do things that seem impossible, that go against everything we feel is right.  During these times, He promises that if we trust Him, it will all be okay. 

We have been so desperate to hold on to what we want that we haven’t let God show us what He wants for us.  Letting go doesn’t mean that what we want is being taken away from us; it means that we trust God to do what is best.  If we can hand it over, God promises that He will open all the windows of heaven for us and pour out a blessing so great that there isn’t enough room to take it in.   (Malachi 3:10)  Your life will be transformed.

So what do I do now?  Pray.  “God, here I am unbelievably blessed with the chance to talk with you and I don’t know what to say.  I don’t know how to give up my son.  You gave him to me and me to him.  If that was just for a short time, then thank you for that time.  Thanks for letting me love him.  I give him to you.  If you ever want to give him back to me, then I am ready.  I need your help to know what to do next.  Father, I love my son so much and it’s really hard to let go because I am afraid I won’t get him back.  I am afraid that I won’t see his smile, hear his laughter, or hug him.  But it’s time for this, your child, to embrace the message ‘fear not’.  And I trust you father with all my heart so I give him over to you.”

Once I was told I had a long journey to make, that it wouldn’t be easy, but it would be worth it.  They were right.  Life is a mystery.  Death is a mystery.  God is a mystery.  But love, love is not a mystery.  When I remember that God loves me, all of a sudden I don’t have to solve these mysteries any more.  Maybe my son is on a journey.  And some day, when I look back, I will be able to say, “it was all worth it”. 

Now - you hold on to this.  I know you can because I am not speaking to your brain; I am speaking to your spirit.  We all get lost in the darkness sometimes.  And when you are so lost nobody can find you, even those who love you the most, God can. He is lighting a candle for you.  He is preparing a place for you so that you can be with Him.  And some day, He is going to send an angel to take you to that place where the light never fades.

Thank you God for your great promises.  Thank you for your faithfulness to us, so stiff necked a people.  I thank you that in your great wisdom you have sent the Holy Spirit to minister to our spirit.  Most of all; I thank you for your love.  A love that defies the ability of my mind to comprehend it, of my mouth to describe it, and of my voice to praise you for it for You are love itself.  It is with a humble heart and an expectant spirit that I await the continued manifestation of Your will in my life.  Praying in the power of your son’s name. . . Amen.

  

True Judgement

The Father's Principles:  True Judgement

Scribes and Pharisees.   I know we have all heard of these two groups, but in the interest of accuracy, let's go through a quick refresher so that we might have their role and function firmly in our minds as we proceed on.

Scribes:  Had knowledge of the law and possessed the ability to draft legal documents such as needed for marriage, inheritance, and the like.  Each village had at least one scribe.

Pharisees:  Members of a party that believed in resurrection and in following legal traditions that were not of the Bible but "traditions of the Fathers".  They were also well known legal experts which is why there was a partial over lap of the two groups.  According to Rabbinic tradition, Pharisees were small land owners and traders, not Scribes.

I am sure many of you have heard multiple times over the years of the false judgement both groups were known for.  The false judgement was further encouraged from a sense of false righteousness.

The matter of judgement is so important to Christ, that He chose to close what is likely the most well known of all his sermons, the Sermon on the Mount, with a discussion of judgements.

In the Sermon on the Mount, there is covered three different judgements.  So let's begin our journey and see where God will take us.

Our Judgement of Ourselves
Matthew 7: 1-5

Oh goody <insert heavy sarcasm here> ...   ha ha ha.  I couldn't resist.  As in most things, God instructs us to begin with ourselves.  We must be willing to examine our own lives, hearts, and thoughts before we can begin to judge others with wisdom and with love.

God did not forbid us to judge others.  Think about it.  Careful discrimination is essential in the Christian life.  Christian love is not to be blind.  We are taught this in Philippians 1: 9And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ.
The person who believes all that they hear and accepts everyone who claims to be spiritual will come to experience great confusion and spiritual loss.

However, before we judge others, we must first judge ourselves.

Verse 1:  New Living Translation (©2007)
Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.

Note that the word is past tense here:  judged.  This verb tense signifies a once and for all final judgement.  If we first judge ourselves, then we are preparing for that final judgement when we face God.  One of the failings of the Pharisees was in that they played "God" as they condemned others but did not consider that one day God would judge them.

Verse 2:  New Living Translation (©2007)
For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.

When we look at this verse it helps to also consider the parallel passage in Luke 6:37-38
37“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Not only will God judge our actions at the end, but people, today, are judging us and we receive exactly what we give.  The kind of judgement and the measure of judgement we heap upon others comes right back to us.  The phrase " reap what you sow" comes to mind here.

Verse 3-5:  3“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

There is a purpose for self judgement and it isn't so that we may castigate ourselves.  Far from it.  The purpose of self judgement is to prepare us to serve others.  We are to help each other grow in grace!!  When we fail to judge ourselves, we not only hurt ourselves, but we hurt those whom we could be serving.

Consider this:  Pharisees judged and criticized others to make themselves look good ( Luke 18:9-14 ).  As Christians, we should judge ourselves so that we can help others look good.  See the difference?  That is huge.

So we will pause here in order to consider what has been shared thus far and allow God to speak to us as He will.   I know that I, myself, have much to learn and put into practice in this area so I vote we proceed in small increments in order to leave much time for God's voice to instruct our spirits, mold our thoughts, and conform us more and more to His beautiful image.

Hugs going out to each of you as we begin another day in His presence.

katrina

Judgement

Judgement

So often it seems that when God brings you to something, in this instance sharing about judgement, that the enemy is equally quick to bring you to a situation that will lead you to the perfect opportunity to either stand strong on the tenants of Christ or have actions make a lie of what your mouth says you believe.

No sooner did I send off yesterday's study - than I found myself slap in the middle of a situation which was painful, fighting the desire to stand in judgement and cause hurt to another.  I am way too emotionally entrenched in the situation to accurately assess my performance but my fervent prayer is that I allowed God to be fully God in the situation.

Onward we march my fellow soldiers!  In chapter 7 of the book of Matthew we find that God has given us the guidelines that we need in order to walk justly in wisdom.

Let's begin with a quick over view of the book of Matthew and the historical settings so that we can accurately discern all that we are reading.  Knowing that as we are diligent to seek His face, that He will reveal himself to us.

When we look at the over all structure of the book of Matthew, one can find much evidence as to the purpose of Matthew's writings.  The book of Matthew groups the teachings and the deeds of Jesus Christ into five divisions.  Five divisions were common in Judaism and may have been Matthew's way of showing Jesus as the fulfillment of the Law.

Prologue:  Chapters 1-2  Matthew shows that Jesus is the Messiah by linking Him with the promises made to Abraham and David.

First division:  Chapters 3-7  This contains the Sermon on the Mount and reveals Jesus' description of how people should live under God's reign.

Second division:  Chapters 8:1-11:1  Jesus' instructions to the disciples as He sends them out on their missionary journey.

Third division:  Chapters 11:2-13:52  Records several controversies which Jesus was involved in, seven parables describing some aspect of the kingdom of heaven, coupled with necessary human response.

Fourth division:  13:53-18:35  Concerns the conduct of believers within the context of Christian fellowship

Fifth division:  19:1-25:46  This narrates the final journey of Jesus and His climatic conflict with Judaism.

Remainder:  26:1-28:20  Shares the events and teachings pertaining to the Crucifixion, Resurrection, and the Lord's commission to the Church.

With the exception of the beginning and the end of the book, Matthew does not list events in Chronological order.   Instead it is written in such a manner as to show that in Jesus, Judaism finds the fulfillment of it's hopes.

With this background information, we are now firmly grounded to begin our journey into all that God has revealed for us regarding judgement.

As the morning unfolds in front of each of us, let us remember that God is standing with us through all that comes our way today.  We are strengthened by His might through His word.  There is nothing that comes our way, that has not been filtered through His love.

Blessings to you all, my friends.

katrina

Judge not... or should we?

Day - # today.....

<Smiles>  Now just so you know, I have not finally fallen off the edge.  We are however, about to take a detour.

Please hear my heart now, before another word is shared.  I readily include myself in all statements which will follow.  There is no judgement intended nor inferred in regards to anyone other than myself and society as a whole.  My heart has been breaking for a while now for the hurt being lived by so many - and being lived so needlessly.  With that having been said, let's begin.....

As I have been listening to conversations among fellow believers and conversations among those who are not believers, one universal topic seems to arise often:  the matter of judgement.

Matthew 7:1  New Living Translation (©2007)
"Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.

This verse seems to be a favorite among people everywhere and is quoted often.  Each time I have heard this verse referenced or judgement spoken of, my heart has become a little heavier.  Each time I find myself standing in the position of judgement, I die a little more.

God has birthed in my heart, hmmm... don't even know what to call it.  God has birthed in my heart a deep hurt for the subject of judgement, an even deeper conviction, as well as a desire to know and correctly interpret His will regarding such.  All too often I have been slow to respond to God's leading... sometimes because I just don't want to, but more often, because where He is leading is to an area of great discomfort.  So I am stepping out with this, umm -study I guess, in faith that God has a purpose, a plan, and a person for whom this is intended.

There is a truth that was shared with me long ago by a person of great spiritual maturity and wisdom.  Plucking a verse and applying it to your situation is not necessarily, correctly understanding God's intention.  In order to correctly discern God's will in any situation in our life, we are to put in place the following:
Prayer - remembering to listen as much as we speak,
Study - you must work to understand the circumstances in which He shared that particular verse in order to correctly interpret His meaning,
Counsel - seeking Godly counsel from a mentor, prayer partner, or accountability partner is often vital to stepping outside of the emotion of our circumstances and gaining Godly wisdom for our life.

Keeping these things in mind and moving on "toward the prize of His calling" (Philippians 3:14) we will spend a little time journeying together and learning what God has said in regards to judgement.

I seek and covet your prayers for wisdom and discernment during the days ahead and am so very grateful to share all that He is leading me to with each of you.  Walking together with fellow believers is the great joy of my life.

Hugs and love to you all...   Look up and see all the great blessings that our blessed Lord and most gracious Father has laid before you this day.

katrina

A Relational People

Day 29

Preparing for Eternity

Romans 14:12  New International Version (©2011)
So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.

Are we ready for that day?  Really?  Are we ready for the day we will all have to stand before Christ and give account.  Am fairly sure I am not.  There will come a time when we will all answer the question that arises from how much time we invested in ourselves and how much time we invested in serving.

You know - I have some pretty great "reasons" as to why I haven't served as much as I could have.  At least they sound pretty great here on earth.  I have a feeling, however, that when I am standing before the great I Am, that the reasons will fall to the side as dust.

I know that we are to invest heavily in each other.  We do this each time we serve, help, welcome, support, talk to those around us.  We were built to be relational people.  It is high time we put this back as a priority in our lives.

Communication technology being what it is today - it is becoming increasingly easy to keep in touch but at the same time it is becoming oh so much harder to allow the reality of relationship to exist.  We have gained access but lost intimacy.

You cannot have any type of relationship without intimacy.  The giving and sharing of two people together opening themselves to love, joy, and yes, even the hurt that comes from such.

Mark 8:35  New Living Translation (©2007)
If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it.

This is such an important basis for our serving here on earth, that God specifically addresses this on five different occasions in the gospels.  Life is meant for ministry - not for self service.

So let's get up out of our drive through mentality and begin living a life of servitude.

I am going to leave you with a quote by Marianne Williamson - this is a favorite of mine.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Walk well today my friends...

katrina

We are commanded to serve God

Matthew 20:28

New Living Translation (2007)
For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Serving is the very heart of Christian life.  Jesus came to SERVE and to GIVE - these two verbs should define our life here on earth.

Mother Theresa once said "Holy living consists in doing God's work with a smile".   Wow... Can we honestly say that we are doing God's work WITH a smile on our face?

I think perhaps it is all too easy to get caught in the trap of believing that spiritual maturity is an end in and of itself.  Actually this is not the truth at all.  The truth is that maturity is for ministry.  We grow up so that we can give out.  We must act on what we know and practice what we claim to believe.

Impression without expression causes depression.  *RW*

How many of us are in an active Bible study?  I know I am.  How many of us go from the end of one bible study to the beginning of another?  I know I do.  Honestly, perhaps the last thing we need is to go to yet one more bible study.  Perhaps the thing we need most, is serving experiences where we can begin to exercise our spiritual muscles!  Sadly, many of us, again - myself included, already know more than we put into practice.

As we learn, grow, and mature our focus should shift from "who will meet my needs" to "whose needs can I meet?".  Do we ever ask this question of ourselves?

As I read all the jests and posts concerning the gloom of this morning being Monday - my mind and spirit began to rebel.  THIS day, THIS moment, THIS second is a precious gift from God given to us to redeem for His glory!!

So join me today as we shift our focus from being served to being in service.  No matter how small the deed, no matter the recipient, no matter the audience - do it all for His great glory.  God sees.  God hears.  And God is smiling on you.  

Be blessed as you walk in His path.....

Hugs and prayers to all

Katrina