Chains that bind are broken!!

Monday comes around with it's calling card of out of state travel for the holiday so that we can be with family and the stress begins.

Along comes Tuesday and there is work requirements, new structures in place, and new levels of pressure have been added to Monday's baggage.

Wednesday arrives filled with appointments, phone calls, meetings, and out of state travel that afternoon to handle a contract issue.  Now there are 3 bags of stress and pressure.  My general attitude is rather short, there isn't much of a smile to be found, and all I am doing is making it to the end of the day to collapse and repeat again the next day.

Here comes Thursday....only let's add travel back in state because I was too tired to drive back the night before, wear the previous days clothes, rush in for a meeting that I am supposed to head up at 8:30 a.m. and a day covered up in inspections and appointments.  The previous baggage has been traded out for chains, and I begin to really drag.  The attitude is stinky and I am not a joy to be around at all.

In comes Friday, a few contracts, listing appointments, and oh yeah.... let's drive back out of state again to interview and settle another contract.   By now my dogs are barking, I am down right irritable, and just longing for some down time with nothing pulling on me.

Saturday arrives in all it's glory!  Ha... jokes on me.  Have to finish out a listing for a client so in I head.  Several showings and more later, and I finally get home in time to go to sleep.

Sunday comes and I lay in the bed even after I wake up.  I should be up getting ready for church but you know what? I don't want to.  Not one tiny bit do I want to.  I literally lay there for nearly two hours knowing I need to be up and moving but justifying as to why I don't have to.

Well, 10 rolls around and I finally decide I am dragging my sorry carcass to church.  Well, I have a lovely person in an ancient land schooner that chooses to crawl up my rear because I have the audacity to only be traveling the speed limit (another car in front of me as well) and they don't have the horse power nor enough rust on the car to pass two cars at once.

So amongst all her gesturing, bumper riding, speed up to me, etc... by time I get to church I feel as if I am carrying 1000#s of weight, am in as foul a mood as I have been in lately, and doggone it... I deserve better!!!

We walk in, find a place to sit, and I last about 2 minutes....three at tops.  Up I get and off I walk.  I go over to the chapel... I can't really describe this place as our church is a warehouse but this room is special and you can already feel the prayers of the people in the brick and mortar of this room.  I sit, I cry, I pace, I shout, I am mad mad mad and enjoying quite the pity party.  Not saying there isn't good justification for much of it...but that is quite beside the point.  I am in quite the tizzy as you might imagine.

I fuss at myself, I fuss at God, then I sit down once more and wonder "why?"  Why do I always take back the problems I hand over to Him only to find myself bound by chains I can't lift once more?

I decide enough is enough and I head back in.  One more song and down we all sit.  Lo and behold... what is being taught today?  The Way to Be a Servant.  Great, because that is just what I want to listen to; NOT.  I am listening albeit not enthusiastically.  Then out comes this statement.....

***Our actions flow out of our identity.  What we are is revealed by what we do.***

Well I'll be.  Just kick a girl when she is down why don't ya!?!  What follows below is a conversation God and I had as I promptly missed 90% of the rest of the sermon.  But ya know what?  It just doesn't matter because by time He was done speaking and I had finished LISTENING... there were no chains, I found my smile, and I was able to move on.  Please note that NOTHING in my circumstances were one iota different than when I walked in.  I, I was different.  Because I was willing to allow God to show me the ugliness in me that I didn't want to acknowledge.  Because I was willing to own it, repent of it, and LET GO OF IT.

***Our actions flow out of our identity.  What we are is revealed by what we do.  To include my actions of hopelessness!  My guilt is no less than any others but is greater!!  I have a living beautiful relationship with the living God.  How dare I allow hopelessness and sorrow to paint my face and color my behavior?  Father God forgive my rebellious heart that is so faithless to the Mighty Lion of Judah.  I am on my knees begging for Your perfect mercy and grace to lift me once more by Your endless forgiveness.  Hold me with Your mighty arms so that I can live another day for You.  So that minute by minute I decrease and You increase.  Take that which would take my life and cast it below my feet so that I once more step up into the beauty that is Your glorious presence.  May I never forget that You chose me to reveal Your glory and character to and through.  Thank you that You are quick to correct me instead of coddling me.  I praise You for the purity of Your justice and the depth of Your love.*****

Grab hands friends and let's continue to walk out our Faith with Boots On!

Praise that flows to the heart of God....

Have you ever wondered why we are to praise God?  Have you considered why God would want us to praise Him?

I have been listening to much that is being said regarding praising God and have been surprised at how little we know.  I remember believing that we sing songs because God wanted us to praise Him.  Okay, but why?  Why does God want me to praise Him?  As my mind tried to understand, (it is what we as humans do after all) I only arrived at the silliest of conclusions.

Praising God made Him feel more like God.  Wait, what?  He is completely God!  All the praises of all the earth could never make Him a bigger, greater God.

God needed our praises.  Huh?  As you can see, I amaze even myself with my audacity.  But as you know, we as a created people are rather audacious.  God does not need our praise to fulfill any part of His divine nature.

Recently I have delved into the heart of King David.  Taking each part of his life and looking for the lessons God has for me there.  After all, God himself stated "I have found David, son of Jesse, a man after my own heart."  As I studied I became amazed at how this man, chosen by God, failed so often...... Just.  Like.  Me.

Through the journey of the life of David, the Lord has taught me much.  It taught me the value of being truly humble in the depths of my heart.  I have learned that the "why" isn't nearly as important as I thought but that unwavering obedience is.

Most of all, I have learned so very much about praise.  I know that God desires praise for many reasons but have come to believe that these two are the most important.

PRAISE REMINDS US OF WHO HE IS

When I am overwhelmed and cannot see, God calls me to remember and rehearse some of His many virtues.

• All the wonders worked in the lives recorded in His word
• All the wonders in my own life
• The beautiful wonders in the lives of those around me and those I know

As I proclaim out loud His greatness, power, and glory, then I can see my own need in comparison.  Can you hear the words of Jeremaiah?  "Jeremaiah 32:17 you have made the heaven and earth by your great power and outstretched arms.  Nothing is too hard for you." And in that moment I find rest from my troubles. 

PRIASE REMINDS US OF WHO WE ARE

The most powerful thing I learned is that praise is an exercise in perspective.  1 Chronicles 29:14, David says, "But who am I?"  Authentic praise works every time. You cannot enter into such praise and remain the same. When we worship with authenticity, we end with a heart freshly humbled. 

Perspective invariably accompanies praise.  Hearts that praise often, will keep focused on the timeless power and might of God. Without an active praise life, our perspective becomes focused on self.  

So take time before you start your day to enter into authentic praise.  Raise your voice in song, lift your hands to glorify Him, and find your heart refreshed!!

Blessings my friends. 

Dancing in the Rain

Did you ever sit in the warmth of the morning sun and allow the tears of heartbreak to roll down your face?

To take a moment and look back over the years and have your heart wrench because you didn't love enough, weren't strong enough to take care of the precious hearts that were entrusted to your care, to realize how much more you could have given and done?  

Sometimes as I sit here, words just scream out to be heard.  Sometimes, you just have to realize that it is ok to sit amongst the pain, to be exhausted from the journey, to be heartbroken over the "could have beens and should have beens" and to long for the dream that is just beyond the reach of your fingertips.  Just on occasion you allow yourself to sit and cry with loneliness, sorrow, and longing.  

As I sit here, the very depths of my soul cry for pure love, peace, and the dream I dream of.  

I have a choice....it is mine alone.  I can choose to allow myself to stay in this place or I can choose to run to the One who is hope, who brings me love, who brushes away the bruises and tears with healing, and who never leaves me alone.  

So I will run into His arms, sit in His lap, and pour my heart into His.  And when the tears have stopped, utter love and peace will be mine in the quiet of the storm.  The Father will usher in all that my heart needs and cries for and in His presence is the warmth of a light that can never be dim. 

Words convey a gamete of feelings yet leave so much untouched/unsaid.  How I long for the day when the fetters of our humanness fall away and I can worship our Lord God in fullness.  To ascribe all glory and honor to the One who sits above the circle of the earth. 

So I bow my head and my heart in humble adoration and thankfulness for an abiding relationship that brings forgiveness and strength for a new day. To be filled with peace and love and renewed through Him.

Smiles abound as I enter another day with joy......

Lessons Learned in the Valleys to be Celebrated on the Mountaintops

This past weekend I petitioned God for a "yes."  I proceeded with the right steps, I said the right things, and I prayed the right words.

I spent time praying "God I only want to move forward if this is Your will."  I read His Word, and I tried to leave the situation with Him rather than taking it into my own hands to manipulate the response that I wanted.

A new day dawns and along with it a "no."  That is exactly NOT what I wanted.  What was asked was not bad, not a want but a need, and not extravagant.  But still a no was received.

As I sat in the early dawn hours and opened the study I have been pursuing for a few months now, the bold print of the title leapt out at me.  TURNING MOURNING INTO DANCING....  ughhhhh.....a lesson from the valley is not what I was wanting either.

Here is what I learned and where my dusty road of faith becomes a bit of a mire.  Did you notice that I "said" and "did" the right things in pursuit of the petition pursued?  Well here is the real deal.  God knows the depths of the heart that so often we don't want to utter much less acknowledge.  God knew that although my lips were uttering "Your will" my heart was a fortress of I want this!  Not I want this if this is where you are leading but flat out a three year old tantrum of I WANT THIS.

Yet as I woke, He waited patiently for me to come to Him, and for me to listen to His voice; and listen I did.  The lessons learned were not just for the current petition but for when we laid so many family members to rest back to back, for the hard times endured during my husband's deployment, and for all the valley's that have yet to lie ahead.

Prayer is worship.   And all worship is based on sacrifice.  The beginning and often times biggest sacrifice is that of self.  How dare I approach the Great I Am with my own agenda that I foolishly thought was hidden in my heart?  But there it was a yes screaming to be heard that I buried deep and refused to acknowledge.  But my merciful Father knows my heart better than any can and the yes screamed defiantly to Him drowning out the words of my prayer of bowing to His will.

So yesterday was spent, as patriarchs of old, wrestling with God, wrestling with the desires of the flesh, surrendering to His great majesty, and truly bowing my heart to all that He has planned for my life.

As I woke this morning, quite worn out from the battle, I arise to read "Worship with abandon is an intimate experience."  So I sit here, with tears streaming down my face fully bathed in the mercy and love of a Good Good Father who waits patiently for me as I pick myself up out of the mire that wasn't my place to travel, He offers me clean clothes of righteousness, and sets me back on the path to a relationship that is based on the joy that can only come from being fully in His presence.

How can we fully dance before the Lord if we haven't fully mourned before Him?  I can never fully know the experience of being clothed in His joy until I allow Him to remove my sackcloth.  During the time when our family traveled from funeral to funeral; father, mother, uncle, step-father, another uncle.  It was truly a 14 month long time of horror.   I was clothed in a mass of hurt and agony so deep that my body and mind couldn't cope.  As I sit here this morning I realize that pieces of that were still living within me.  That lack of understanding "why" had buried itself so deeply in my heart and soul that it scarred the beautiful relationship with God that can only come from utter abandon.  I was so busy taking care of all the hurt in others that I didn't deal with the deadly barbs the enemy was throwing and instead allowed them to take a place very deep where it has been left untouched all these years.

I wil never fully understand.  I will not know why.  And that is O K A Y!!  I KNOW the Father, I KNOW His heart, and I TRUST His heart to lead me.  I don't understand any more now than I did then, but I understand more about God because I was willing to wait, to study, to hear God's Word, and to appeal to Him yet again.  I don't understand death but I understand more about God which has made the loss tolerable.  God is not harsh; He is holy.  God is not selfish; He is sovereign.

Pslam 30:11-12  You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.

So I sit here this morning in the midst of a no, experiencing fullness of joy for the first time since the deaths of my family.  It has been a very long 9 years.  And I weep for the wasted time knowing that each morning God was waiting for me.  Each morning He longed to hear my voice and for me to unlock the hurt to let Him have it.

no.  No.  N O !   Never has no been such a beautiful word to me.  This morning in the midst of the no I find utter freedom.  Freedom that I have not walked in for far too long.  Freedom to be at peace, freedom to have joy, freedom to be loved fully, and freedom to fully love.

If you are in the mire or the valley, please do not keep looking down.  Rather lift your eyes, acknowledge the pain, allow others who have traveled this road to help lift you, and most of all, be willing to give it over to Father God.  He will be gentle and faithful and will protect all that you cherish.

Much love my friends....
Join hands with me and let us travel this road of faith together!

Wrapped with a bow

We like things pretty.   Things that aren't messy.  We are drawn to those things, people, places that have life all wrapped up and neat with a pretty little bow.

Because that is what is easy.....

But life isn't easy.  Life is MESSY!!  Filled with infinite mis-steps, wish I hadn'ts, make this go aways, and more.

Life can be tough and most especially in today's times where everything evil is proclaimed to be good.  Where sin is called choice and that choice is celebrated by a world filled with depravity.

Believing people begin struggling with just what makes up sin.  What is it?  Is it those things that deviate from the ten commandments?  Is it those things that do not follow what your grandparents lived out? Your parents?

Face it, it is a brand new world out there and very little of it is good!  We might think that with all that is happening today that there are no answers in God's Word, the Bible.  It is rather old after all!

Let's go straight to James 4:17 "Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, it is sin."

W O W!!  Straightforward and simple.  No list of rules to follow, no to do check list, no list of sin to avoid.  It truly is as simple as that.

The Holy Spirit is alive and is whispering to each of us every single day, guiding us, letting us know what choice to make, what direction to go, what words to speak, and what actions to take.

Is it sin?  You already know what that answer is.  Even something as simple as the failure to do good is counted as sin.

Bend your knee, bow your head, and listen as the Holy Spirit gives you wisdom for the day.

Let us continue to put boots on our faith and walk this road holding God's hand.

Much love...

Justice ~ Yours, Mine, or His???

Psalm11:4-5   The Lord is in His holy temple, The Lord's throne is in heave; His eyes behold, His eyelids test the sons of men.  The Lord tests the righteous, But the wicked and the one who love violence His soul hates.

Justice.  There is a word we all like!  Let's be real here, when we see someone who has done wrong, don't we celebrate within our hearts when they suffer consequences?  Of course, we all like that word only when it applies to someone other than ourselves.

Over and over again we are told in the Word NIV "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord." Romans 12:9.  

Do we really leave it there?  I can think of a situation that I have been party to for several years.  In my eyes, I would tell you that I was innocent in the matter.  The recipient of malice in all its forms. My heart would cry out, "I have been wronged!"  While that may contain some truth, is it the whole truth?  Is it truth that would stand to the measurement of God's truth?

Hmmm...perhaps not.  As I sat in study and prayer this morning, the Author of truth began to speak through Psalms 11:4-5.  During this time have I kept myself pure and holy before the Lord?  Have I wronged another with malice in my words?  Have I repeated circumstances to those without knowledge to seek compassion?  Or have I left this fully with the Father for Him to work and for His glory to be shown?

Can you see me sitting with my head bowed, tears dripping in front of me, and my cheeks flamed with shame?  For that is the picture you would see right now.

I read the words below this morning as I was studying the life of David and knew instantly that God is calling me to true repentance and to stand still so that He can work and be glorified.  

     **** It is a test of the righteous person's patience and faith when he sees wicked men committing injustice.  The Lord waits momentarily to see who will remain loyal to just ways."

Powerful!  Thought provoking.  Requires deep soul searching.  Requires willingness to see God's truth.  

Truth:  I failed.  I returned malice for malice.  I did not continue to keep myself pure before God so that He would be glorified.  

Rather I got in the muck and wrestled with pigs.  What comes of that?  Every time, you both are filthy and there is no victor.

So this morning I kneel before the King, thankful that His mercies are new every morning.  I will rise after a time of repentance with the knowledge that I am forgiven.  I will seek the other party and request forgiveness there as well.  From there, well.... that becomes God's problem doesn't it?  I lay it down and refuse to pick it back up.

I hope that my stumbling on the road of Faith with Boots On will prompt you to keep yourself closely aligned with the Author of Truth so that you don't stumble and scrape your knees as I have done.

Much love my friends....  Let's join hands and continue this journey onward!

It is all Heart

I have enjoyed a great conversation with a dear friend this morning.  It all started with an innocent post on Facebook.

This post that I shared started a tremendous conversation between two friends who with the eyes of God can see the heart of the other clearly.  We began sharing how so very often that we, as fellow Christ followers, are perceived as fake.  So often in our desire to portray the love of God, His mercy, and His heart for all man kind, we put on attitudes and actions that are not true of who we are.  I don't view a post such as the one above to be in conflict with my intense love of God and dedication to Him but rather my intention to be as real as possible.

I do put on the witch hat sometimes.  This occurs when I take my eyes off the One True God and focus instead on the things of the world.  No excuses.  I am wrong, and when I fall, I make sure that I fall on my face seeking forgiveness and in turn, go to those I have wronged and seek their forgiveness as well.

My friend put it oh so well this morning.  I come from the deep South.  Not the South the way Tennessee knows it but the deepest parts of the South where Southern takes on new depth, and a much deeper meaning.  To quote my friend, "It's all or nothing in the deep south.   There are variations elsewhere but it's hard to explain effectively.  There are always people who make you go "huh?".  However it is those that are so raw with you, that help you use the full potential of your heart so that you feel every fiber of your being without fear, those are the angels from above."  I call the people that allow this kind of relationship, gifts.  The gift to be wholly you, as God created you, with NO apologies.  This occurs very frequently in the deep South as we are all so very different but bound with the cords of Southern traditions, living off the land, family Sunday dinners, get togethers, and more.

It also explains so very much why I am the way I am.  I AM a deeply Southern girl.  I am all or nothing.  Sometimes for the best and sometimes to my detriment.  But it is who I am.

Heart.  It is a precious things my friends.  Treasure those who allow you to fully live your heart in a protected relationship.

Much love.