Love ~ Is it worth it?

Have you ever been just going along about your day, humming a tune, and then out of no where something is said or done which just completely knocks you off balance?

Something so unexpected that although you are hearing it - experiencing it, you just can't get your mind to comprehend what is happening?  Amidst your mind struggling to comprehend the why and how of the situation your heart is working over time to stop the bleeding from the wound that was inflicted; there is no real way to think, to process it, or to react due to the numbness that creeps over you as you are reeling.

Recently this was me.  Experiencing and hearing a hurt that my mind just couldn't seem to wrap itself around.  Something so outside of my thinking - expectations that I couldn't get my mind to comprehend what was happening.  In an attempt to gain some perspective and begin to make sense of it all, I reached out to an individual who is filled with wisdom and grounded in the Word of God.  The response I received was so not what I expected or could have imagined.  

"I know I have said this many times to you (now anyone with a lick of common sense knows that isn't the prelude to a warm and fuzzy so much as a 'you aren't listening to me when I speak' moment) 'protect your heart'.  You love big and it opens you to big hurts."

True to the strong willed character that I am, I immediately fired back with "may those words be on my tombstone 'she loved big' no matter the hurt it brings, may it always ring true in my life."  

It has been several sunrises since that conversation and it is something that I am seeking God earnestly on.  One question that keeps popping up is this; did I really mean that?  Did I really, from the depths of my being mean that?  Because if so, then that means that I am choosing to allow hurt from unexpected sources into my life.  That means, that when that hurt comes, I MUST, become an expert at crawling up in the lap of the Father and allowing Him to heal me rather than allowing that hurt to have it's way with my heart, my soul, and my character.  That rather than the return fire option, I MUST choose to let go of all that rages through me.

So then the question becomes; is it worth it?  That is not something that could be answered with a snap response but instead requires deep introspection, deep guidance from the Father, and an even deeper commitment to daily roll my hurts onto Him.

So this morning (yes it has taken a while), I go back to my original response with a new conviction and a firm faith and trust in my God and Savior and I say with all the strength that I have.......

MAY LOVE ALWAYS RING TRUE IN MY LIFE.

Now before there is any commenting, applauding, or any edification of me at all.... know that my nature is at war with those words and this stand that I am taking.  There is no halo above my head.  In fact, quite the opposite 😈.  But my heart is true and my God is faithful and will sustain me.

So I ask that you hold me accountable to what you have read here (please be kind when you do so 😊) and that you join me in this commitment to love.  Doing so in the full knowledge that it is not easy, it is not always appreciated, it is not always well received, but also knowing that God is faithful to provide the strength to do that which He leads us to do.

In light of what is coming up this weekend in our beautiful city, this becomes even more heavy on my heart.  Let us each seek God's will rather than our own reactions and choose to love through the hate.

Much love my friends.....  Pull on those boots and let's get busy walking.