I am a MESS

Not only am I a mess, I am a hot mess!  For those of you not from the South, you may not be familiar with such a saying....  Basically it means that when I mess up I do so in a rather spectacular fashion.

Let's just say that yesterday I was rather SPECTACULAR in all aspects of my day.  I allowed one over sight to alter my focus and attention for the remainder of the day.  When this happens, as you might suspect, the whole day becomes one that is out of kilter with rushed or wrong decisions being made.  As a result of not keeping my focus where it belonged, my day became a big wad of ugly.

And for a brief, shining moment, I allowed myself to wallow.  You know, like any good pig, just get down in the depths of pity and roll around in it until I am well and truly filthy.  

You might wonder why I would choose (yes, it is most definitely a choice although I would truly love to convince myself that it is merely a by product of life being rough.... pshhhttt ) to roll around in filth when there is beauty all around for me to enjoy and be part of.

You see, life is kind of funny that way.  God designed us to walk with Him, in relationship, a daily community of give and take, all the while keeping our focus firmly on Him and NOT on our circumstances.  Three guesses who utterly failed to do that?? Hmmmm.... I wonder.

So when I took my eyes off of Him and put them on the circumstances as they began to produce the results of where my vision was, I began to hurt in my heart.  All too often when I get caught up in "me", the very worse place I could possibly get caught up in, the mistakes I make can lead to hurt for those around me.  Though un-intentional, the by product of a self centered view point still causes very real worry / pain for those around us.

When the day was coming to a close and I was seated by a fire in the dark of night with God's handiwork all around me, my heart began to ache.  Not for me.  Not for my day.  But for the people around me that had to deal with the by product of my focus.  Those un-intentional hurts.  I can't take it back, I can't make it right, I can't fix it no matter how much I might long to.

What I can do, is go to each person, look them in the eyes and apologize with no "reason" or "explanation" but to simply pour out my heart and let them know how very sorry I am.  That is tough.  That is humbling.  And it hurts, because I know that it doesn't change anything about the situation.  

HOPE!  There is hope amongst the most messy moments of life.  Because I can guarantee they are going to happen.  The hope is this.  God.  God brings healing out of a mess.  God creates humility out of a mess.  God knits hearts together through the process of a mess. God ushers in forgiveness from a mess. Most of all, God brings in wisdom and maturity so that such a mess does not occur again.

So as I ran to Him this morning, I let the tears fall, I allowed my heart to pour out to Him, and when the time for tears had stopped, I allowed Him to hold me as only He can and began to soothe the tattered pieces and start sewing together the beautiful tapestry that He has ordained for my life.

Can you see how all is not lost?  That although so many would say there is no reparation, nothing to be done, God steps in and says "watch me work!".  He comes in with his mercy and grace and begins to orchestrate a symphony so beautiful that it can only be felt and not heard.

So I encourage you my friends, as I sit among my mess, to take your eyes off your mess and place them fully on the Savior.  Look at yourself through His eyes and see how truly loved and precious you are and know that there is the living hope waiting for you.

Whether business or personal the result is the same.  Where our focus is our heart and life will follow.  Be sure of where you place your focus today!!