Cries of the Heart

There comes times in each life when the heart cries out in anguish.  The pain is real and searing, cutting like a knife.  The chest is constricted and I can't seem to draw a breath.  Tears begin their travel down the valleys of my face creating rivulets where sorrow flows seeking relief.

Times like these bring about intense feelings that encourage me to run away.  I seek the solution that will bring about the quickest relief. 

But should I?  

Or should I listen to the cries of the heart?

If I am to listen to the cry of my heart, I must be willing to move forward into that darkness. Willing to allow that pain to be. Open myself to fully experience the cuts that come with the pain.  

Just allowing my thoughts to briefly touch that journey causes me to recoil in dread and fear.  Who would ever knowingly, willingly travel this road?

The Spirit whispers the answer, "One who wishes to experience the fullness of God.  One who would know love.  One who would know complete healing."  

Am I that one?  Can I take this journey?  Will I take this journey?  My mind reels at the implications this journey brings about.  The strength needed.  The willingness to be utterly vulnerable. The amount of faith required.  All control surrendered.  

I cannot conceive of a beginning.  The end seems a lifetime away.  

He whispers again...words that soothe my troubled soul. 

Jeremiah 29:11. New International Version (NIV)
11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Plans to prosper me? Hope? A future?  How does this reconcile with the pain which seeks to destroy?  How can this be?  

I search but I cannot find where I am instructed know the mind of God.  His heart.  His heart calls out to me.  His heart yearns for me. His heart loves me.

When I cannot understand the mind if Christ, I cling to His heart.  One foot.  One movement.  One step.  

Forward into what, I do not know. Facing what, I do not know; nor do I think I want to.  

Here I stand, placing my hand in Yours, placing my faith in Your heart.  Ready to go where I am led in order to know that which You would reveal to me.   

The mountains ~ Their lesson

My husband and I were recently blessed with a week long trip to the Smokey Mountains near Cherokee North Carolina.  This was a week for reclamation, restoration, shedding those things which would drag you down and putting on Christ to exalt Him.  You see, hubby had just returned from 18 months in Afghanistan ~ not his first tour I might add.

The pressures, stresses, and fear that attach themselves to you for such an extended period of time, begin to drag you down and rob you of all the bountiful blessings that God sends your way each and every day.  For him.  For me.  It took a beautiful 26 year marriage of oneness and created two people.

Knowing that this is not what God called us to, not what we were designed for, and not what we wanted, we sought solace in the quiet of the mountains.  We removed electronic intervention and spent our days drifting with no definitive destination in mind other than to seek God and each other.

You see, when we turn off the noise of the world, you can clearly hear the voice of the Father as He calls you back to His side.  The Holy Spirit envelopes you and the work of healing begins.  There among the mountains, God's voice rang out clear and true.  His hand moved powerfully bringing peace in it's purest form, healing to hurting minds, tearing down walls of fear, removing stress, and most of all, once more strengthening that "three stranded cord which cannot be easily broken."  (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

As the days drifted into one another I began to notice something so stealth in appearance as to be easily over looked unless one is actively listening to the Spirits whisperings.

It is the lesson of the mountains…….

Each morning the sun would rise.  Each evening the sun would set.  Each morning we would miss the sunrise.  Each evening we would miss the sunset.  The reason was not that we were sleeping in or out enjoying night life.  We could not SEE the sunrise nor the sunset.

Simply a matter of logistics…. our cabin was in a valley between two mountains which delayed our ability to see the sunrise/sunset until an hour after each occurrence.

That is when God spoke to me so very clearly.  The Son is always there…..in the valley.  Even we choose to allow the mountains in our lives to block our view of Him, the Son is there, with us, loving us, caring for us, calling us to His side.

It is a lesson that I will cherish and carry with me always…..  the lesson of the mountains.

I pray that as you walk through this day, you take time to look past the mountains to the Son.

Jesus ~ Simply Put

Recently our church decided to embark on a community book study of a book titled "Jesus Pure & Simple" by author Wayne Cordeiro.

How was I to know how much God would use this author's writings to bring about a new work in my life?  It seems to have become a habitual process that when embarking on a book study or a study of any kind that God continues to call me to slow down in order that I may not only read the content but that I might LISTEN for His voice to speak truth into my life.

You know that oh so Southern and so very country saying of "listen twice as much as you speak"?  Well there is more inherent truth contained in that phrase than most will ever realize.  Cliche's are often that way.  A foundational truth which has been repeated so often as to become trite and the significance of adopting that truth into our lives is lost.

As I sit here sipping coffee enjoying the relaxed pace of time spent in the mountains in a cabin with no schedules to keep, I am once again reminded to listen.

Wayne posts a reminder at the end of Chapter 4 …….

Do not be afraid to let Him remove from you what you are not, lest you become what you never wanted to be.

 This phrase is ricocheting through out my spirit, my heart, and I know it will continue on through out my life.

This phrase leads me directly to Romans 7:15 New International Version

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

These two combined are becoming a powerful force that God is using to further shape me.  To refine those things within me that keep me from living His love.  It is awfully easy to live my definition of love, but to lay aside all and live God's love, well now that is just an entirely different matter all together.

All around me the world screams that I am to hand out kindness only when kindness is given.  Judgement is to be passed around liberally.  We are taught that harshness and hurt are ok as long as we are in the right.  Teaching that love is reserved for those who are deserving.

"Right"….. now there is a word for you.  In today's world, right is determined solely upon individual perception.  Gone are the days when "right" was based upon the infallible truth of God's word.  Right is a fleeting definition which changes upon the situation, the individual thought process, and emotion.

But wait…. I am not called to be part of this world.  

Romans 12:2  New Living Translation

Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

When we are called to allow God to transform us, we are not being called to stand in judgement against people who do not follow our beliefs.  We are not being called to a behavior of religious righteousness. We are being called to allow the very same all encompassing, forgiving, merciful love that He so freely bestows upon us to live fully and completely in us and even more importantly, to allow that love to live outwardly toward those around us.

So just what does Wayne's statement above linked together with God's word mean for me?  What am I to do with what God is showing me?

Simply put ~ I am to allow God to shape me in to what HE created me to be.  No longer do I look to my wants, desires, needs but instead I look to the author and finisher of my faith.  I look to the One who has adopted me as His own and I allow Him to grow to fruition those things He fashioned in me while I was yet being formed.

This means that I lay aside my perceptions and instead allow His word to transform my thoughts.  I lay aside my emotions and pick up His love.  I allow myself to be bare in order to put on His holy armor.  Hmmmm…. something way wrong in the above statements.  Oh…. that's it.  The great "I" is used way to often…..

Galations 2:20  New International Version

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Simply put ~ I no longer live but Christ lives in me…..

That is my thought now, may it continue to be my thought each minute of each day with each breath that I draw……

For you alone, Father, are worthy of praise.  You alone are worthy to be glorified.  You alone are worthy ……..